After an especially difficult month, I went looking for a book that could possibly help me sort through all of my emotions in the midst of struggling with Infertility. I found this book on Amazon and because of the stellar reviews, I decided to purchase it. Here’s the Goodreads summary:
“For people experiencing infertility, wanting a baby is a craving unlike any other. The intensity of their longing is matched only by the complexity of the emotional maze they must navigate.
With insight and compassion, Drs. Janet Jaffe, Martha Diamond, and David Diamond-specialists in the field of Reproductive Psychology who have each experienced their own struggle with infertility-give couples the tools to:
*Reduce their sense of helplessness and isolation
*Identify their mates’ coping styles to erase unfair expectations
*Listen to their “unsung lullabies”–their conscious and unconscious dreams about having a family–to mourn the losses of infertility and move on.
Ground-breaking, wise, and compassionate, Unsung Lullabies is a necessary companion for anyone coping with infertility.”
This was an incredibly encouraging read for me. Currently in our 20th month trying to conceive and having gone through treatments, heartbreak, frustration, anger, etc., this book was so refreshing.
I’ve read a couple other books about infertility, but none of them really delve into the real emotion of the experience and how to cope. This book having been written by three psychologists who all went through infertility, they get into the nitty gritty of why you feel what you feel and that it’s OK.
The chapter about grieving the loss of what you always dreamed your “Reproductive Story” would be had me crying. Anyone trying to conceive has this image built up about how it’s all going to fall into place, and when it doesn’t, that dream needs to be grieved. This chapter was especially hard for me but so rewarding at the same time.
The last paragraph of the book has what I think is the best description of how this book was written. They say, “Whether you are still involved in treatment, have become a parent through alternate means, or have decided to remain childfree, your infertility trauma will become but one strand in the fabric of your reproductive life. As you continue to live and rewrite your story in the times to come, we hope you will find peace.”